Musing & Muted Monologues...

Bon Weekend!

noreply@blogger.com (illpoet #7) — Mon, 11 May 2009 20:14:00 +0000

This past weekend was really what the doctor ordered. Friday was a movie date followed by a quick drink at a nearby establishment before calling it a night. Saturday was a cookout with family, seeing folks I hadn�t seen in a while, in some cases, years. Sunday was chill mode in full effect. When I tell you all I needed was an umbrella drink or a brew on my couch yesterday, man�whew! Breeze was coming through just right. I don�t even drink like that, but that would have been a great time to have a frosty liquored beverage. Yessir!.

Anywho, Star Trek was rather entertaining. And while I don�t know how many pre-adventures they can sneak in before it seems gratuitous and self-indulgent, I have to believe we�re gonna get at least one more outta that cast, which was put together very well, I might add. The plot wasn�t the strongest to be honest, but all the fun was in seeing the classic characters from when they were young. It was quite entertaining. Also got to see the Transformers and G.I. Joe trailers, which had me geeking. I am a bit skeptical about the Transformers sequel, but the latter trailer still doesn�t have a high level of expectation for me. I just want to go and see some action, and hopefully, I�ll hear Cobra Commander yell �Cobra� like in the cartoons!

Also, while waiting for my movie to start, I wrote down this quick little poem that is now entitled �Amen Corner� (formerly China Town Blues). If I remember to, I�ll post the poem in my journal so you can read it. Nothing life changing or grand, just good to be writing.

I can�t wait for this weekend. Get a chance to unwind, and hoping to see a lot of people and listen to some good music.

Freestyle - 5/7/09

noreply@blogger.com (illpoet #7) — Thu, 07 May 2009 16:25:00 +0000

What do you do when you dig someone?
But they don�t want you like you want them?
Now here�s a situation that I can�t run from
Cause that�s a situation that I did come from
Last time I played cool as ice and I let it slide
Gambled with my heart, and I let it ride
Feelin� Feisty now, I don�t wanna let it die
If yot the game wrong you gon� do it till you get it right
They say life�s a bitch, and love bites hard
Never trusted fate, I leave my faith in God
If I�ve been fucked over, can�t tell it you my squad
Cause I�m half the reason that my heart is scarred
Had a good woman, wasn�t ready for the charge
I gambled with her heart and she pulled my card
So I know about love, but only cause I�ve been there
I�d learned at a young age that love ain�t never been fair
So while yo head�s in the clouds, breathing in that thin air
Thinking love is yours, but you�re just paying rent there
So I�m not tryna be a gangsta, don�t wanna be a G
Truth be told it�s hard enough being me
Working in a job that could give a damn about me
More than half my life rhymin�, and haters still doubt me
But I ain�t salty, cause I did so too
But they never knew what I did go through
Take me as weak when there�s a beast inside my rib cage
Got enough blood for four days to keep my d*ck straight
Why your groupies got your head gassed off that mid grade
I�m sipping premium listening to mix tapes
Like damn Lee, they must not know
Make me wonder, God, how hard, must I go?
So this is just a quick view inside my mess
The prob with my position is I know I�m blessed
But I got sidetracked, so I digress
Back to this girl who has my attention
And has ya boy open like HVAC ventin�
Matter fact, I won�t finish this sentence
Or my thought, you musta caught me trippin�

Stymied & stifled...

noreply@blogger.com (illpoet #7) — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 18:34:00 +0000

I just needed to take a sec to get my brain moving. I�ve been trying to get this project off my plate for some time now, but things kept jumping up and taking precedence over it, for like two months damn near. Now, all I really have is this project, and I�m stifled creatively right now. I hate sitting on projects or letting too much time go by (more so in the professional environment). This damn project, though small, has become the bane of my professional existence. Can�t wait to get this monkey off my back.

Saywhusayhuh?

noreply@blogger.com (illpoet #7) — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 18:42:00 +0000

I find it interesting how many people try tot take me to task for not picking up the phone and calling more often. Yet these same individuals don�t make any additional effort to do what they�re getting on me about. Now, granted, I do have an issue with calling people. I acknowledge that. I�m bad with calling people. That said, I also let people know that I have an issue with calling people (consistently) and that I�m bad at it. I�ll also throw in a disclaimer about me being pretty good at keeping up with people via email. If you write me, I tend to write back. There are tons of electronic mediums with which to communicate, and we�re hung up on picking up the phone. However, if some one makes an effort to reach out to me, it�s not as though I�m making myself unavailable.

OK, so some will read that and possibly think, �Well damn Lee, in order to catch up with you, I have to do all the work?� and my answer to that is, �Certainly not�but you can�t get mad at me for not doing something you aren�t doing yourself.� Bottom line: a phone is a two-way device. Now if my own mother, who I love dearly, understands that she isn�t likely to have protracted phone conversations with me unless there is something that really needs to be discussed; if she understands that I just don�t like to be on the phone like that, then why can�t everybody else? It�s not like my aim is to dodge some one or to spite some one. And yes, there are even times that I might even stay in touch with some one for a stretch, but it�ll most likely change up at some point. No clever way to end this; Not trying to piss anybody off or slight anybody, I just don�t really feel it.

and when it alls seems hopeless, you say the words to put me back in focus...

noreply@blogger.com (illpoet #7) — Fri, 17 Apr 2009 15:54:00 +0000

Couldn't figure out what I wanted to entitle this entry, and Pac jumped into my brain. If you think about all of the musical legends who died way too young (Bob Marley, Sam Cooke, John Lennon, Otis Redding, Marvin Gaye, 2Pac, Jimi Hendrix, etc.), the groundbreaking legends, that changed the musical AND social landscape, imagine what the world would be like if they were still here. Anyway, back to the entry--

Yeah, this is Lee (the Poet), back up in the spot...or whatever, I don't know. What's good, ya'll? Word? That's what's up. Me? Oh, well, I'm hopefully going to sit down and get some writing out. My aim is to start small; there's this short story I want to hash out, and I've been sitting on it for a while now. I think I had a dream about this, or, I don't quite remember. Most of the significant dreams I either forget, or some how get lost in translation. It's a dope concept that would translate excellently to screen. But, I don't have the patience or desire to write a screenplay on this bad boy. I just want to sit down and write it out, and see what I can do with it once I'm finished.

The other thing I wanna do is look for a voice over casting agent. I happen to be quite well versed in the art of vocal mimicry and wanted to do voice acting since I was a likkle yout, sin? So, those are two simple projects to get started on. I don't necessarily expect to finish the short story, but this is not an impossible task if I actually focus and get in a good groove. The good groove I can't really control, but the focus part I can. Outside of that, I think I'm going to restart my cardio regimen...maybe the jumping rope routine. It had me in decent cardiovascular shape, I just got tired of the same routine after like the 7th or 8th month. We'll see, though. Starting ain't so hard, it's making it stick that makes it difficult sometimes.

On another note, I have a friend who put me on notice by saying I should be in NY at least once a month, getting the lay of the land, doing poetry spots, looking for voice work, etc. Know what? He's absolutely right. I'm going to start pushing towards that.

Lee-isms, Volume 1

noreply@blogger.com (illpoet #7) — Thu, 16 Apr 2009 18:06:00 +0000

Jason Statham � verb/noun � to witness or become victim of a highly improbable act; often achieved with little reason or effort.
Synonyms: Bamboozled
Example Sentence: I just got Jason Statham�d last weekend when my brother beat me in NBA 2K 2 with a double overtime, buzzer beating, running, underhanded �Grandma� shot...from half-court by Quinn of the Miami Heat.

Lee�s Logic: While entertaining some of the times(I dug The Italian Job, Lock Stock�, & Snatch), many of Mr. Statham�s recent movies have been so far fetched, that only Jason Statham could pull it off. For example, Crank 2, focuses on an individual who drops a few thousand feet from a helicopter (after doing multiple drugs), and is abducted to have his (what should be useless) heart harvested. This guy (Chev), then goes on a citywide spree beating peoples ass AFTER he has his heart taken, trying to get it back.
Now, Etan Thomas of the Washington Wizards, a pretty fit guy, I might add, had elective hard surgery, and it took more than a month for him to walk a short distance without becoming winded�and he still had a heart! I�m just saying. Transporter 2 was so much more outlandish than Transporter 1 that I didn�t even bother seeing Transporter 3.

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M. Knight � verb/noun � An event or set of circumstances that initially looks promising, but turns out to be a monumental waste of time.
Synonyms: Conned, Hoodwinked
Example Sentence: Remembering that I was M. Knighted by going out with old girl from last week still raises my ire.

Lee�s Logic: C�mon, you�ve seen M. Knight Shylaman�s body of work. Unbreakable, Signs...The Village!

Hard Admissions, part 1

noreply@blogger.com (illpoet #7) — Mon, 06 Apr 2009 21:11:00 +0000

It secretly bothers me that I don't have any children yet, because all of my nieces and nephews have the opportunity to know and interact with my grandparents, and children don't seem to be anywhere on the the immediate horizon for me. The plan is still to go about it the old-fashioned way, you know, the whole marriage thing first. But damn, I have to find someone that I feel I can marry first, huh?

Life gets complicated as we get older, primarily because as we get older, we develop more sound rationales as to why we can't do something our heart desires. We become masters at denying our own dreams, often using life and it's (often self inflicted) circumstances as excuses.

I admit that I sometimes run from my own destiny, my own blessings. Although I can be a great decision-maker/time-manager (especially in crunch time), long-term decisions are a problem sometimes. I hate to make mistakes. Not afraid of failing, but making mistakes bothers me. Weird I know.

What is Love?

noreply@blogger.com (illpoet #7) — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 15:09:00 +0000

What is love? Love is often nothing more than a theory without application. An overly romanticized concept with amorphous aptitudes. Vacillating between idealistic and lofty, to lascivious and lewd. Who�d be able to articulate a definition with which we all agree? Well, I humbly submit that love is incomplete when directed at others if not first genuinely directed inwardly. To love yourself true, you must take stock of all the flaws within you. Change what can be changed and except what can not. Outwardly reflect self love, for loving just you would be the loneliest of lots. Indeed, to love others as one loves themselves is often the most Herculean of tasks, one that many of us simply do not pass. And still I ask, what is love? I believe it defies definition, for definitions are limiting, and one should not define that which knows no boundaries. That is as foolhardy as trying to define God. So, my only reply that feels correct. God�is love.

Roadside Flares

noreply@blogger.com (illpoet #7) — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 17:02:00 +0000

Something is blocking my creativity. I readily acknowledge that part of the problem is indeed me, but I�m only part of the equation. Maybe part of it�s the job, and the fact that things have been so intense as of late that I don�t want to do anything when I get home, hell, over the weekend. It�s a very slow drain to commit to something that I�m not passionate about; minor, but a drain nonetheless.

Maybe part of it is that I don�t have a creative fixation to drive me, a muse if you will. In college, I had three muses, one minor and two major. As I transitioned from the quasi-adult status college life into the real world, I had my best friend who at some point became a greater interest for me. So, since about 28 years old or so, I haven�t been as creative as I am accustomed to being. Don�t get me wrong, I�ve done things, from writing to recording, but not on the scale or with the consistency of years prior. Much of my creativity is rooted in my passion and pursuit of the opposite sex, and I haven�t really had a good muse in a while.

Maybe part of the problem is my relationship with God, although, truthfully, I feel is pretty sound right now. I am not really a church-going dude, but I do get up on a whim and go from time to time. I�m more of a �personal time� kinda guy when it comes to my relationship with God. Turn off the radio while driving, talk to God/introspect while walking or showering; that sort of thing. Thing is though, I often feel the closest to God when I�m using the creative gifts He gave me. Because I don�t do so with any semblance of normalcy as of late, I in turn feel somewhat disconnected. I can�t force myself to create, because I�m often dissatisfied with the end result. Instead, I�m used to a constant flux of creative energy; the vibe that I could write or draw something profound at any given moment. This keeps me in a constant state of readiness.

I lost a lot of this vibe when I started doing mortgages, and then insurance. So little of the right brain is used to do mortgages and insurance, it�s like my creative energy short circuited almost. Now, it�s like trying to get an engine to turn over after it hasn�t been used in a while. Not like I can run out and just get a new engine, so I�m kind of waiting on a divine AAA to give me a jump. Once I get it running, the battery will charge itself back up�it�s just keeping her running that�s the issue. This journal in fact is a great example: When I was really feeling that vibe, I had multiple entries in any given month�even a day sometimes. When I am feeling disconnected, I may have one or two entries in a month, maybe two months. Right now, I�m kind of in between. But feeling like I�m in a position where I could lose ground is actually worse than being at zero, because I almost don�t notice on a conscious level that I�m creatively brain dead.

Right now it�s a highway at sunset, and I�m on the shoulder looking to flag someone down. No cars on the horizon just yet, but I�m optimistic.

Taking a breather...

noreply@blogger.com (illpoet #7) — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 21:03:00 +0000

Dog, this is the first time in nearly 2 weeks that I've been able to do anything other than pedal to the metal work. I had 1 breakfast and 1 lunch all last week! Worked a straight dime without anything but a a latte and a piece of cake last Friday, and spent the latter half of the weekend paying for it. Doing better with eating this week, although I fell off of the horse on Tuesday. It's been crazy as hell, but it's always a blessing to have a job (especially) when so many don't. No complaints, just saying...whew...come on Friday, witcho bad ass!

Glad this week is over...

noreply@blogger.com (illpoet #7) — Sat, 14 Mar 2009 02:31:00 +0000

I worked a straight dime today with no Breakfast or lunch break. This week was off the chain. One breakfast, one lunch the entire week!
Also:
Check my homegirl out here!: click here

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Now playing: Kanye West - Say You Will

Funny Exchanges

noreply@blogger.com (illpoet #7) — Fri, 13 Mar 2009 16:00:00 +0000

Outside, as I'm about to walk into the local grill spot to get breakfast
Homeless Dude: Hey man what�s up? It�s me Davey! (In baritone voice) Attention all customers, please do not forget to tip your maitr�d on the way out. (singing) Bum, bum bum bum bum chicka-chicka�
--and, scene!

After walking in Starbucks for a white chocolate mocha latte (which I just tried for the first time two days ago and is really good)
Cashier: Welcome sir, may I take your order?
Customer: You know what I want, what I rewally really want.
Me- Looking in shock
Customner: I�m just kidding.
Me: I hope so, I really hope you are joking
Customer: (brief diatribe about how his friends daughter liked the Spice Girls)
Me: Yeah, blame it on the friend�s daughter. See, I�m a fan of Scary Spice, but not for her singing.
Customer: I�m a fan of all the Spice Girls, but not for their singing
Devin (Guy who makes the hot beverage concoctions): You�re a fan of the Spice Girls
Extra convo
Customer: So yeah, did you call your mother for me
Devin: Yeah.
Customer: What did she say?
Devin: She said that she got the results back from her test and they weren�t good, so you might want to go get checked too.
Me: (LOL) Aww, that was good. My side is hurting on that one.
--and, scene!

Ya know, I Useta...

noreply@blogger.com (illpoet #7) — Thu, 26 Feb 2009 13:38:00 +0000

There are too many times where I feel old, but I do feel a little old in one way: I'm starting to look at myself in that "Useta" (use to) way. You know, I useta be like this, or I useta do that.

*Sidebar Tangent: Isn't "use" a strange little word? It doesn't look anything like it sounds...

Not all of the useta stuff is stuff I should or even do miss, but I useta be more focused. I think part of that is because I do a lot more now. My mind is more scattered often. I used to know squat about mortgage rates and insurance coordination of benefits procedures, and that technical stuff does not play well with the right side of my brain. When I go that left with my brain, I really have a problem trying to get back to the center, much less the far right where all the really creative stuff is.

I useta be more focused. Here it is I finally (after years of indecisiveness) decided which graphic novel I want to run with first (out of 4...technically 5 concepts), and I come up with an animated series idea that I want to run with. This jon't is funny as hell, but if I told you the concept, you'd probably think it was boring. I'm going to try to write up a treatment for it this weekend. The animation is supposed to be pretty crude, kinda like a mix between home movies and south park. Definitely not going with the 30-60 frames of cel animation on this. Key frames all the way. So, this means I have to get some animation software that I can get up and running pretty quickly, something like ToonBoom, which I heard is pretty good, but I have to research. Also curious about MangaStudio & AnimeStudio.

Oh, this doesn't negate the demos I want to finish soon. (sigh) It feels like I need to slow down and speed up at the same time. One thing is for sure, I definitely need more execution of ideas. I just got some new tech toys over the past few months, so I should have some good motivation to start knocking things out soon.

A Lee (the Poet) PSA on the Skinny Jeans Epidemic

noreply@blogger.com (illpoet #7) — Fri, 20 Feb 2009 15:53:00 +0000

The Oxford Effusing
I am inextricably befuddled by the skinny jeans phenomenon that has swept our urban landscape. It boggles the mind. Fitted jeans, while at times effeminate, can be worn by men or women. Skinny jeans are for women. They're meant to accentuate form. Yet dudes are intent on wearing skinny jeans, and often hanging off of their posterior, as if I'm interested in the brand and/or pattern of their undergarments. If one is predisposed to the predilection of wearing the aforementioned style of clothing while exposing their entire posterior, might I suggest a pair of thigh-high boots without the disturbingly tight jeans to interfere with the notion that you want the whole world to see your behind? It would be making much more of an original statement than the accepted predesignated method.

The Layman's Lament
Skinny jeans are suspect, and this shit has gone too far. Men aren't supposed to wear skinny jeans, because skinny jeans are designed for women, not men. Wearing clothes designed for women is cross-dressing in my book, I don't care if it's acceptable. That shit is not hip hop, and it damn sure ain't gangsta. Ya'll look like Riley Esco with the wrap-skirts right about now. Real talk, why not just wear some chaps with the ass out (a la T.A.F.K.A.P (Prince...geniuses)), or put on some thigh high boots with a pair of Vickies? I can understand wearing jeans low on the waist, but why wear pants if I can see your entire undergarments? Pants are supposed to go over your underwear. That's the concept. Yeah man, work that out...

You are the solution...

noreply@blogger.com (illpoet #7) — Sun, 15 Feb 2009 16:22:00 +0000

Heard something pretty deep a moment ago (paraphrasing here):

"Everything created is a solution. My watch solves a problem. My glasses solve a problem. My ears hear, my hands touch...God saw a problem that no one lse could solve, so He created you. That's why nobody understands you, there has never been another you before."

There was more, but the dude is still talking, so I'll holla back later...

What's so urgent?

noreply@blogger.com (illpoet #7) — Thu, 12 Feb 2009 03:40:00 +0000

So uhh, wouldn't mandatory appointments in an urgent care facility kind of defeat the purpose of an urgent care facility? If you have time to make an appointment, is it really that urgent? I'm just saying man, am I lunchin' out, or is am I lunchin' out?

Wu-Tang is for the Babies, God...

noreply@blogger.com (illpoet #7) — Sat, 07 Feb 2009 23:10:00 +0000

...and Trick love the kids. Likewise, so am I and so do I. With that said, I feel good having gone to DC Prep school and talking to/performing for the 7th graders over there. Interesting how kids think, too, man. When I spoke about Emitt Till, one young lady asked what would happen if Jim Crow was reversed and they went after the white lady instead of Emitt Till. Crazy right? That seems like a poem in itself. It's been a while since I did outreach like that, but it felt really good to do that. My boy Kyle said he needed some poets to come through and represent for one of his elementary school friends, who now teaches over @ DC Prep. Wasn't a thing, so I went through and spoke with them like young adults along with Kyle. That's a great time to reach them, because that's the time they start to figure out things, and also when they start to go one way or the other. I tip my hat to all of those in the struggle fighting the good fight.

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Now playing: 13 Of Nazareth - Unknown Souljah

Ice Skating Uphill

noreply@blogger.com (illpoet #7) — Tue, 03 Feb 2009 21:57:00 +0000

Not that I ice skate, but if I did, this would be even more poignant, or maybe not. Hell, I don't ice skate, so what do I know? I just know it sounded really cool when Wesley Snipes (as Blade) said it at the end of the first (and in my opinion, the best)Blade movie.

So, to the crux of the matter, the heart if you will...I feel like I'm ice skating uphill. See, I know a little something about bad web design, as I've implemented enough of my own over the years; so I know why my job should change their web site, if for no other reason than it's poorly done. Virtually everybody complains about it, and many of those who work here can't find stuff on it. This ain't any low profile site, it's a government site...federal government at that. It's poorly structured, slow, ugly, and I hear it doesn't wash it's hands after it goes to the bathroom. But I won't hold that last one against it because that's an unconfirmed rumor at this point.

I know the things that can improve the look, feel and functionality of the site. I can prove my case unequivocably. I can even do it in an Elmo voice with a Darth Vader mask on, but it ain't gonna happen if nobody wants to agree to work together. So here's me, really pasionate about something at work, and hoping I'll get the legitimate opportunity to make a difference. We'll see how it goes.

Oh, apparently, the Wizards still suck :( and will continue to do so for some time, as they find it nigh impossible to win back to back games, meaning at best they'd have a 50% record were they to win every other game, which would be a blessing compared to this terrible season we're having. I'm alsmost embarrassed to admit I'm a fan, but, we've been marginal most of the time I've been a live, sooooo...yeah.

I'm dog tired right now, though it felt like it was three times worse yesterday. I don't have the energy to create right now, so I will look to get back on the horse tomorrow. It's bad enough I still have to drive out of my way to drop my clothes off at the cleaners after I get off the train this evening. Damn, I have some laundry to do tonight to, huh?! Damn. Superbowl Sunday threw off my laundry day. I'm just trying to stay awake until quitting time man...hopefully I can get a nap on the train.

Finally done with the CE

noreply@blogger.com (illpoet #7) — Thu, 29 Jan 2009 14:45:00 +0000

I am siced young. I finally completed all of my continuing education
(CE) requirements for my insurance license, which means all I have to
deal with now are fees and what not. Instead of fighting to get into
work, travelling down slippery back roads, I opted to stay home and take
care of this thing that had been weighing me down. I can now look to
get back into the creative mindset that I had been building the weeks
prior to having to switch gears to handle my CE requirements. I don't
know what I was thinking getting licensed for both mortgage origination
and life insurance so close together, but the drain on the pockets is no
joke, man, trust. Don't necessarily plan to write a bunch of insurance
as of right now, but I do want the license ready and active should the
opportunity arrive.

Anyway, my hope is to get back to the screenplay I had picked back up
before the end of last year, and fiddle with that a bit. Hopefully, if
my tax return is nice enough (fingers crossed), I can cop a G5 Mac Pro
and start the graphic novel I finally decided I was going to dedicate
the majority of my time to. I have four in different phases (all
relatively early), and three are directly related to each other. I
decided to go with one over the others because I can see the story from
the ground and an aerial view the best, which should make it the easiest
to tackle. But, if the tax return ain't right, I will use the money
pretty much to offset different expenses I incur(red). Either way, it's
a win-win scenario for me. Busy weekend coming up for the kid, what are
you getting into?

BlahblahBLAH!

noreply@blogger.com (illpoet #7) — Fri, 23 Jan 2009 20:44:00 +0000

This weekend looks like it's going to be busy work galore...bbut if I handle it accordingly/properly, I'll be able to get back to the art. Need to lock up this license situation (insurance). I almost regret not taking the easy way out, but I really did want to learn something totally new, so now I have to tough it out, which is cool. Good info to store away in the grey matter, but good Lord it's boring. Also, looks like I may have a couple f small freelance jawns to work on. Small, so those are ironically the ones you kinda have to psyche yurself up for, because they can feel trivial at times and/or they typically pay little. Oh, if you haven't heard, Circuit City started liquidating all of their inventory last Saturday, so head on over and see if you can get a good deal on something you've been holding out for. Most likely, the good stuff (if they ever had it; the one nearest me is pretty lame) is already gone...but you might find a gem. Who knows, right? I'ma check up on box sets and software, stuff like that. Anywho...ya'll be blessed.
One!

Innaugural Hangover

noreply@blogger.com (illpoet #7) — Wed, 21 Jan 2009 18:39:00 +0000

Man, I am really trying to stay ahead of things as much as possible.
Not always so easy, but I am trying. I already took care of my mortgage
license issues, so I'm good on that. However, I am kinda pushing the
envelope when it comes to my insurance license. I did this online
course that was 8 credit hours...so, I'm thinking it shouldn't take more
than 8 hours, right? Wrong! That bad boy had like 200 hundred
different screens. I started Friday (I think), and I didn't knock it
out until Tuesday. Granted I wasn't doing it all at once, that's
ridiculous. I passed the online exam, though. Problem is, I was ji'
fried after the first course, so I didn't fare as well on the second
continuing education exam. The course wasn't nearly as long, but the
way it was broken up kinda sucked. Where the first one was broken up
too much and repetitious, the second one wasn't broken up enough. I
could have taken the easy route and done what I already knew, but I
wanted to learn something new, so I'll arrange to retake the exam...I'll
just need to take two or three hours to really comb through the course
again first. I finished the first test in like 10 minutes or less, too.
I just wasn't mentally focused on the second.

Aside from that, I got tot kick it with a couple folks I hadn't really
kicked it with in a minute, one being oh, I don't know, 8 years. High
school friend, lost contact, facebook, reconnected, hooked back up,
everything's copasetic. I didn't get a lot of sleep this weekend, so
I'm dog tired right now. But, I am happy as I don't know what about
yesterday's inauguration and subsequent festivities. Which raises the
question, would it have been all of that fan fare had McCain won? I
mean, I highly doubt BET would have been holding any events.

I watched from like 8 something in the morning until like 4 something
when one of my homegirl's came through for a sec with her cousin.
Chopped it up with them for a second, then I got right back into the
inaugural events. Don't know why FAMU got to march so early and
Howard's Showtime band had to wait so long. Can't hate on the Showtime
band like that, that's bad form. Anyway, I'm happy it's official, and I
look forward to seeing what our new president aka "That Guy" brings to
the table. I know he has a whole lot of expectation heaped on his
shoulders, but I also think that the way he carries himself will give
him a better opportunity and higher likelihood that he'll fulfill more
promises than his predecessors. It still feels a bit surreal, but I'm
feeling how people are genuinely enthused.

Hopefully I'll get some sleep, been up way too late the last few days,
and it's finally caught up with me.

I will holla later, back to the j-o
1ne.
sLeepy

The streak may be in jeopardy...

noreply@blogger.com (illpoet #7) — Thu, 15 Jan 2009 20:02:00 +0000

Cough drops and hot tea
Feels like this cold wants to stay
Praying it will pass

Haven't been sick in well over three years. Can't even remember the last time I was sick. Messed around and didn't set my thermostat at the right temperature (so it would come on every so often to keep the pad warm), which meant I was knocked out sweating underneath a hot comforter in a butt-ass cold room...completely unaware. I could have slept the entire night like that, had I night had I not gotten up to call my homie (who I thought was on the west coast) to wish her a happy birthday. I was all wrong with her birthday, too...but it's good I was. I was flirting with pneumonia the way I was sweating...just have a bit of throat and a runny nose. Hopefully that's as far as it goes.

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Now playing: Walter Hawkins - Be Grateful

New Beginnings

noreply@blogger.com (illpoet #7) — Tue, 13 Jan 2009 02:38:00 +0000

Well, today marks the first entry of 2009 and the first time this journal has gone by a new name other than "Soliloquies of the Socially Retarded...".

So ant way, Christmas break was cool. It allowed me to get some things in perspective and let some things go. Christmas day sucked actually, but it was cool to see ma dukes and papa step the following day. Even cooler still (dare I say) was getting back to the creative side of myself. It's been like 3 years since I've really felt a creative vibe. Not trying to get over excited, but I think this is going to be a tremedously positive year.

I caught some bad breaks last year, but those same bad breaks allowed me to realize that I'm blessed and help me reacquire focus. On top of that, most of what was lost can be regained over time, I'm at peace with it either way.

Saw this flick I had read or heard about (can't really remember) a while back with Ryan Gosling, Half Nelson. Was a good flick. It was good because it was well executed, but also because it made me uncomfortable because I didn't know which way the movie was going. As someone who tends to figure out the plot twist before it's delivered, that's a good look.

Overall, I got a chance to rest, create and spend time with family. Great way to end the year an start the next. So, although I really don't get into resolutions*, mine is implementation. That simply means that I need to not sit around and rest on my laurels while I have a good idea and do nothing with it. Nope. I will be writing more (pro)actively, drawing out concepts and pushing to be heard and seen. I've been in neutral for three years, now is the time to start making moves. Quite frankly I'm tired of the 9- 5 lifestyle. I'm thankful for a job (especially in this market), but I need to better leverage my personal time. Less distractions and more productivity, y'dig?

*Now as far as resolutions, I don't really get into them because I feel if someone is really serious about making a change, they shouldn't wait for January 1st to do so. If you want to quit smoking, why wait to New Years when New Years is X months and X days away? My thing is: change what you can as soon as you can, and let God handle the rest.

At work on Christmas Eve...

noreply@blogger.com (illpoet #7) — Wed, 24 Dec 2008 15:24:00 +0000

...this is a first. Hopefully they'll let us go early or something.
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Dang! Right after I posted this I got word that they're letting us go early! Yeah!

Gone but not forgotten...

noreply@blogger.com (illpoet #7) — Tue, 23 Dec 2008 16:28:00 +0000

Happy Birthday, Donya. Miss ya baby girl...